Random Questions: Post 12

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Another installment of your favorite ongoing segment with your host, Cheese Face.

Random question 1: Where would you find the Aquatics Centre of America?
Answer: Well, Canada and United Kingdom use the reversed 'er' so I'm guessing it's somewhere in Canada or UK unless it's trying to appeal to tourist from there. Or maybe there is no Aquatics Centre of America. Btw, Centre looks like cen-tray, if you get my drift.

Random Question 2: What is the Krabby Patty secret formula?
Answer: I'm not Stephen Hillenburg, I don't know.

Random question 3: Is it true that AT&T is the best 3G network, or something?
Answer: I cannot confirm nor deny that statement.

Random question 4: How old is the world?
Answer: I'm not an astronomer, ask someone else.

Well, join us next week, or not, for Random Questions.

Cheese Face out.

Really, what is CPS Thinking?

Well, school starts in 3 weeks. Weeks. It was June 6th yesterday, how could it be weeks? Nope. Weeks. I like the start of school. I mean, we get new stuff, new clothes, new teachers, but we go back to learning. According to the principal at my school learning is our debt to society but he worded it as "jobs". According to the city people get paid for doing their job even if they don't like it. Why can't we get paid? Just a little something for putting up with the idiots that inhabit the school. Just a suggestion.

On a positive note, I get to visit my grandparents this weekend. Yeah! We'll go swimming at a kiddie pool where the shear size of my younger sister will terrorize the kiddies. And at a real pool or "aquacourt" as they say. Yes, the same pool that the Impaler went to. Coolio museums. And a fountain of colored water where my brother and I will carry on the legacy of my mom's friend who said, "It's only colored water!". We will scream that at the dopes who worship it. Well, I guess it still is a cool fountain.

Cheese Face out.

Happy Birthday, Dear Blog, Happy Birthday to YOU

Yep. Uh-huh. That's right. Today is my blog-o-versary. My blog birthday. My, uh, *insert creative name here*. One year ago today, I was at my grandparents' house and I had done something. Something so fantastic that it has changed the world. I give you: THE LEGEND OF THE CHEESE FACE!

The Ledgend of The Cheese Face

Sup. It's me, The Cheese Face. Now, my face isn't REALLY made of cheese. It's just a nickname I got from my friends. I remember it like it was yesterday.

(Wavy flashback mode)

It was 4th period Math class. My class was learning about proportions or somethin' like that.
We, as a class, were working on this math problem where you were s'possed find out how fast this Olympic speed skater was going. The answer? 10mps (meters per second). so I said "My face can't stand the G's!" But my friend Maddie thought I said cheese and was like "your face is made of CHEESE?!" I tried explaining but she kept calling me Cheese Face.

I gotta go before my sisters kill themselves.

Ah, yes. Good times. Well, yeah, I should go before my sisters kill themselves.

Cheese Face out.

Super Awewsomesauce is Coming TOMORROW

Tomorrow is the birthday of this web page. FFFFWWWHAAAAAT? Exactly one year has gone by? Impossible you say? WELL STOP SAYING STUFFZ. Be here and read with the most joyous of attitudes of Mr. Cheese and Mr. Nemetz will rein down on you like a pack of ravenous-- HEY! NEW SUBJECT!

I just saw another ad for TLA. So many things wrong....

Cheese Face out.

The REAL The Last Airbender

Yes, another post about that flub of a movie. I watched the Last Airbender Revealed thing a few weeks ago and Shyamalan said he's seen the cartoon. YOU WATCHED THE CARTOON?! HOW?! But yesterday, my siblings, my mom, and I took it upon ourselves to make the real movie. Hopefully, we'll be able to edit it all together and post it on YouTube. Yep. Watch for it possibly a month from now. It'll be there. And I did say maybe.

Cheese Face out.

The Last Airbender

I just saw The Last Airbender movie, I'm so mad. I can see why the critics said it was lame.

OK, first, Zuko has a PONYTAIL. Say it with me, M. Night Shyamalan, PONYTAIL. And his scar was barely there! I mean what the chiz?!?

Second, the pronunciation? It's Aang, not Aungh; Iroh, not Eeroh; and SOKKA, not SOAKKA.

Third, Ozai's hair is 3 times longer in the cartoon than the movie. And he has a really long goatee.

Fourth, no Appa! Appa is their main mode of transit, how can you NOT have him in there?!? Momo the lemur is so creepy.

The Komodo rhinos look like a Komodo dragon, not a mix.

Yue, turns into the moon, her spirit kisses Sokka and then disappears in the cartoon. She just floated in the stupid pond in the movie.

WHERE ARE THE KYOSHI WARRIORS?! According to the series Suki comes back as Sokka's girlfriend.

Katara's all crybaby, Sokka has no Sok-casm, and Aang is too serious.

And where is Hei Bai the panda spirit? Is he having tea?

Appa's legs have no meat on them. I've had chicken wings with more meat on them than Appa's legs.

The moon spirit was burned in the series, not stabbed.

Master Pakku was all mad about Katara learning waterbending in the cartoon. No hostility in the movie.

WHERE THE HECK IS KOI-ZILLA?

The Avatar State was pretty wimpy.

I urge you not to see this movie. Your eyes will bleed. Don't see it.

Cheese Face out.

The Cheesey Awards

The Cheesey Awards are back and "cheddar" than ever. Heh, heh, cheese humor. Anyways, you have just tuned in to the finest awards ceremony on this side of the International Date Line. Who said so? Oh, just a little turtle from Mall of America, USA, named MR. NEMETZ! You must listen to him, or you shall pay....

Let's get on with the awards, shall we?

So, here are the nominees for FAVORITE MOVIE:
Avatar
Toy Story 3
Eclipse
The Last Airbender

And the winner is... The Last Airbender! Yay! Take that movie critics who say the movie is "lame".

Up next is Favorite Female Singer.
Nominees:
Lady GaGa
Beyonce
Other

You voted, and the winner is, Other. Go other females who I haven't named due to lack of knowledge of existence or otherwise! You know who you are.

The next category is Favorite Male Singer.
Nominees:
Justin Bieber
Adam Lambert
Parry Gripp
Other

The winner is, Parry Gripp! Yeah, it was a close call, with Adam Lambert with 4 votes.

And now a word from our sponsor.

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Sweet, huh? I wonder if it will mow the lawn?

Anyways, the next category is Favorite Song.

Nominees:

Last Train to Awesometown

Baby
Telephone
This is My Ringtone

And the winner is, Last Train to Awesometown! Yeah! To quote one comment on YouTube, "Best use of auto tune EVER!"

And now the results of Favorite Band.
Nominees:
The Beatles
Metallica
Trout Fishing in America
Black Eyed Peas

And the winner will be revealed right after this!

Mr. Cheese speaking:

Boy, are we in for a treat tonight. Today we are going to rewrite history by defying gravity. Sure we could send Cheese Face into space, but that is longer and cheating. Nope, we are going to put Cheese Face in to a huge Fushigi ball. Like 300 times the size of a regular Fushigi, maybe more. OK, she is stepping into the ball and we shut the door. Don't worry there is plenty of oxygen in there. And now we cut the rope holding it down and she is floating off. Now, because we can't ACTUALLY send Cheese Face into space, the following is CGI animated. What, that's not cheating, that's redefined objectives. We said we were going to rewrite history, we never said it wasn't going to be animated. Well, maybe we can not put this in the record books. Back to you, Cheese Face.

OK, now the results of Favorite Band. You voted and the winners are The Beatles and TFIA! w00t.

And now for the results for Best Blog.
Nominees:
Impaled by Unicorns
The Mind of Steve Joe Bob
BizarroBlog
Joe's Alter Ego

And the winners of Best Blog are... The Mind of Steve Joe Bob and BizarroBlog!

Well, join us three months from now. Congratulations to all the winners.

Cheese Face and Mr. Cheese out.

Everything. On My Mind. In Here. So Yeah.

A few days ago, my mom downloaded this coolio game called Mario Paint Composer. I am addicted to it. I have made 3 of my own songs on it, Dreams, Forest Nights, and Journey. And many other songs that are well known, like the Psych theme, the intro to Coldplay's "Clocks", and Parry Gripp's "I Can't Stop Googling Myself".

The other thing on my mind is the dream I had 2 days ago. I was at my back door, checking to see if it was locked, when these hippies emerge from the hedge in my backyard. There were 2 dudes with wooden spoons and pots and they were banging the pots with the spoons, and another chick with a whole bunch of rocks and was throwing them at anyone who tried to get them to leave. So I start screaming to go away, we don't need any hippies here, that sort of thing, when I showed my affection for regurgitation. Then my mom showed up at the door asking why I was screaming and I told her about the hippies. And then she starts threatening to call the cops, and that our cousin is a cop, and then I remembered that I know 11 different ways to kill someone with my thumb, which I don't really know, and I go after the dudes with the spoons, and the chick with the rocks starts throwing them at my mom, and I'm still chasing the dudes, and then the head for the nearby park, singing and dancing like the nomads in the episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender, "The Cave of Two Lovers" and the chick with the rocks was dancing like the girl in the episode who was all noodle-like.

Weird.

Cheese Face out.

Random Questions: Post 11

Good afternoon, and welcome to Random Questions, the only blog segment certified by the Cheesecakian Fun Association to prevent nausea, heartburn, indigestion, upset stomach, and diarrhea. So put the Pepto-Bismol back in the medicine cabinet, George.

Random Question 1: What is your favorite restaurant?
Answer: Though not in Cheesecakia, Bubba Gump's Shrimp Co. in MoA.

Random Question 2: Enchiladoritos: What are they?
Answer: How come I can hear me say "I don't know?"

Random Question 3: Are you sure you don't know what an enchiladorito is?
Answer: Again, how come I can hear me?

Random Question 4: Please describe what the super secret event on the 26th is?
Answer: No.

And now: BONUS FEATURES!!

George: Knock, knock
Jimmy: Who's there?
George: Boo
Jimmy: Boo who?
George: Don't cry. It's just a joke.
Jimmy: *groan*
George: OK, you didn't like that one.
Jimmy: Nope.
George: How 'bout this one, DONK!


Cheese Face out.

Behold! An Update of Herman

You guys remember my snowman, Herman. Y'know, he got beheaded well before his time? 'Member? YOU 'MEMBER! Anyways, I just looked on YouTube and only 45 views, a majority of which came from my brother. Herman is sad. He said to me, before he died, he said to me, he said, "Cheese Face, I wish to be an Interweb sensation before I melt. Make me an Interweb star." Did he actually say that? No, at least I don't think so. But his hopes of becoming famous on YouTube were dashed because only 45 views were recorded.

You can help end his dashed hopes and dreams by telling your friends, family, neighborhood weirdos, anyone with internet. And if one of those thousand of possible viewers happen to have a YouTube account, tell them to leave a comment. Please. Think of Herman.

Cheese Face out.