The Cheesey Awards

Yo-yo ma and welcome to the first anniversary Cheesey Award! It was one year ago I awkwardly came up with something that would affect the rest of this blog forEVER. So let's get started.

Favorite TV Show results:
Nominees:
Victorious
Spongebob
Penguins of Madagascar
Invader ZIM
Mythbusters

And the winner is... actually the winners are Penguins of Madagascar, Invader ZIM, and Mythbusters! *Plays awards ceremony music*

The next category is Favorite Commercial.
The Nominees:
RED ONE!
'Cuz I'm a Pothole
Paste for Sock
The Pythagorist... Before That, uh, Theorem

The winner is Cuz I'm a Pothole and The Pythagorist and that other stuff I said. THEOREM!

And now a commercial break.

Hey you! Yes you! Are you tired of playing with wet sand! No? Well you should be! Because we've got something better! Introducing Water SiO2! That's right! Silicon dioxide that never gets wet! You can call 1-888-WTRSIO2 and order yours for only 1999.99!

What do you do after school? Eat? Do chores? Rot your brain? Well if you want to have a life after elementary school stop doing those things! Get out and play an hour a day! Mr. Cheese: I pity the moron.

Well, that was entertaining wasn't it?

Next category is Favorite Song.
Nominees:
Eleanor Rigby
Particle Man
Roy G. Biv
Last Train to Awesometown

And the winner is... Particle Man! "Particle Man, Particle Man, doing the things a particle can..."

The pigeonhole up next is Most Random Thing to Say When Talking to Your Grandmother
Nominees:
CHEETOES?!?!
Oh, well that happened...
RYAN SEACREST!!
OH MY GOD, MY SPLEEN!!

aND ThE wiNNeRs aRe Oh, well that happened..., RYAN SEACREST!!, and OH MY GOD, MY SPLEEN!

Now, a word from our sponsors.

Introducing P-Macs! Love PCs but hate the problems? Want to learn about different different computer systems? Well stress no more! You get the recognizable features of a PC and the no-hassle virus protection of a Mac! P-Mac. Get it at The OK Buy, Radio House, and Wally-Market.

Oh, yes. That sounds awesome. FULL CIRCLE!

Up next is Favorite Sport.
Nominees:
Cricket
Golf
Baseball/Softballs
Curling
Tennis
Archery

You voted, so Mr. Nemetz won't hate you, maybe, but the winner is Archery! Yes! My school's team has been #1 for like ever.

Favorite KCA Host.
Nominees:
Jack Black
Kevin James
Dwayne Johnson
Ben Stiller

And the winner will be announced after a soapbox speech written by the always cute, rarely wet, and promptly prompt MR. NEMETZ!

Mr. Nemetz speaking:

The Gulf coast. That is where that horrible, sticky black stuff, oil as you may call it, is at. We need to get our act together. 'Kay? Cuz I used to live there before I lived at the MoA. Yeah, so clean it up. Get it sealed, 'kay Mr. EPA Executive. skdjvnhajvhnasdlfkjvsdk.vj nalkjdhga!

And the winner of Favorite KCA Host is James Black and Kevin Jack. No! Jack Black and Kevin James! Yeah!

Favorite Movie results are in.
Nominees:
Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory

And the winner is Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog

Up next is Favorite Female singer.
Nominees:
Ke$ha
Taylor Swift
Miley Cyrus
Charlotte Martin

The winner is Charlotte Martin!

Favorite Male Singer
Nominees:
Justin Bieber
Micheal Jackson
Adam Lambert

And the winner of Favorite Male Singer is Micheal Jackson. If he weren't dead, he'd be really excited.

And now for Mr. Cheese's FANTASTICAL STUNT!!!

Well, here in Cheesecakian Studios we have the greatest thing planned. We're gonna go back in time. Really! Nope, we're not. But we did get you excited didn't we. Instead we will make the world's largest bubble! Yeah, not really. I, uh, I don't know... um... back to you Cheese Face.

Mr. Cheese you have sucked for the last time. It's the first anniversary of the Cheeseys and you had to make it suck. No worries, it's always fun watching someone mess up. :0/

Our penultimate category is Favorite Band.
Nominees:
The Beatles
Metallica
They Might Be Giants
Linkin Park

And the penultimate winner of the penultimate category is THE BEATLES! woo-hoo!

And last but not least Favorite Blog
Nominees:
Impaled By Unicorns
BizarroBlog
The Mind of Steve Joe Bob
Your Friendly Neighborhood Goth

and the winner is IMPALED BY UNICORNS! DAH-DA-DA- DAH DA-DA DA-DA DA DAH DA-DA! FRIENDLY MUSIC!

And now for the Honorary Winners.

Emma-- Favorite Blog, FFF, Fellow Cellist

Micah F.-- FFF

Sidney G.-- FFF

Jessie M.-- FFF

Shae S.-- FFF

Rebecca F.-- FFF

Senora Fudgehead-- FFF

All de Nominees-- for participating in the Cheeseys.

Thank you and good NIGHT.

Cheese Face out.

Cheesey Update

Wazzup. The Cheeseys are this Wednesday. Just vote. Please. Or Mr. Nemetz will be sad and hate the world. He'll cry. Maybe not cry, but he'll send a letter to fellow blogger Scott Solomon. PPPPPPPWWWWWEEEEEEEEAAAAAAZZZZZZZ?

Cheese Face out.

Random Questions: Post 15

Buenos dias, and welcome to Random Questions.


Random question 1: What would be the atomic weight of lead if it were on the moon?
Answer: 34.533333...

Random question 2: A train enters a tunnel at7 o'clock. Another train enters the exact same tunnel also at 7 o'clock, on the same day. The tunnel has only one track, no passing places, and no other means for the trains to pass around, under, or over. However, both trains make it to the other end of the tunnel, untouched. How did they do it?
Answer: One train went in at 7 am, the other at 7 pm.

Random question 3: What is time?
Answer: Something too long, and too boring to discuss.

Random question 4: The phrase 'civil war' is an oxymoron. Why?
Answer: Because, if a war was civil, it'd be called a 'debate'.

Cheese Face out.

MY LOVE TOWARDS MANY THINGS

IN HONOR OF CAPS DAY, I WILL POST A REALLY REAL POST IN ALL CAPS.

WELL SINCE I'VE POSTED THE MANY THINGS I HATE, HOW 'BOUT A POST OF THINGS I LOVE.

ITEM 1: MY CELLO. I JUST LOVE TO PLAY THE CELLO. FOR ONE, YOU GET TO SIT DOWN. GRANTED, OLDER MORE EXPERIENCE PEOPLE OF THE ORCHESTRAL AND BAND WORLD SIT, TOO. BUT WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, THE TEACHER MADE ANYONE WHO PLAYED THE VIOLIN OR VIOLA, UNLESS YOU HAD AN INJURY, STAND. AND THE CELLO END-PINS WILL MAKE GREAT WEAPONS WHEN THE ORCHESTRA REVOLTS AGAINST THE SINISTER MR. S. NOTICE I SAID WHEN NOT IF. SO THAT MEANS THE ORCHESTRA IS OH, MOST DEFINITELY GOING TO REVOLT. AND NOT ONLY THAT, THE CELLO IS AWESPIC (THANKS, NEOLOGISM ). AND TRUTH BE TOLD, I CHOSE THE CELLO 'CUZ IT WAS THE ONLY INSTRUMENT THAT I COULD PLAY AND NOT HURT THE EARS OF MY PEERS.

ITEM 2: MY FAMILY, MOST OF THE TIME. I LIKE THEM. BUT THEY ANNOY THE HECK OUT OF ME. AND MY SIBLINGS "THE CHIBLETS" CALL ME A FREAK FOR NOT PARTICIPATING IN "FAMILY FUN MOVIE NIGHT" AND MY BROTHER CALLS ME EMO, WHEN I AM CLEARLY NOT. BLACK IS A COOL COLOR, IS IT NOT.

ITEM 3: BLOGGING. BLOGGING IS FUN. I AM A BLOGGER JUNKIE AND I AM PROUD! I LOVE READING THE BLOGS OF MY FRIENDS AND OTHER AWESOME BLOGS, SUCH AS "HYPERBOLE AND A HALF" AND "SCOTT'S TIP OF THE DAY".

ITEM 4: MISTER E'S AND MR. MATH'S CLASSES. MAN, WE HAVE ALL SORTS OF CRAZY TIMES IN THERE. "ALGEBRAIC!"

ITEM 5: READING. I LOVE TO READ. I LOVE IT SO MUCH THAT I WILL GO INTO A RAGING RAMPAGE IF YOU DISTURB ME.

ITEM 6: TVTROPES.ORG. CLICK THE LINK IN THE AWESOME WEBBY SITES.

ITEM 7: THEY MIGHT BE GIANTS. THEY ARE THE GREATEST BAND EVER. THOUGH, THE VIDEO FOR THEIR VERSION  OF "ISTANBUL (NOT CONSTANTINOPLE)" REMINDS ME OF PETER GABRIEL'S "SLEDGEHAMMER" VIDEO.

YEP. PROOF THAT I DON'T HATE THE WORLD ALL DAY, EVERYDAY.

CHEESE FACE OUT.

NATIONAL HOLIDAY, AGAIN~

I DON'T KNOW WHY I PUT THE SQUIGGLY THING THERE, BUT IT WORKS! 'TIS ONCE AGAIN CAPS DAY IN CHEESECAKIA! AND NOW RANDOM TYPING!

THE FISH ARE POWERFUL BEINGS THAT EAT THOSE DECORATIVE GLASS MARBLES! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IF THEY DID THAT, THEY'D DIE! OH, WELL THE WHEASTER BUNNY IS GOING TO HEAR ABOUT THAT, PIGGEH! OH YEAH WELL EMPHASIS, THAT'S WHAT! WHAT, MAN I DON'T KNOW.

"IT'S A GIANT MUSHROOM! MAYBE IT'S FRIENDLY!! FRIENDLY MUSHROOM! *MUSHY GIANT FRIEND."

CHEESE FACE OUT.

My Hatred Toward Many Things

It's National Hate Day in Cheesecakia. What's "National Hate Day," you ask? IT'S WHEN SASQUATCH AND TOOTH FAIRY GO TO THEIR SUMMER HOME IN PRAGUE AND SPREAD JOY TO ALL THE UNICORN-MAN-BEAR BABIES! Actually, I lied. There is no "hatred holiday". But someone should make a hatred holiday real. Won't that be EPIC! I think it would be.

But anyways, yay Emma! Yous was featured on a notable blog and that itself is AWESPIC! Yes, awespic, a combination of awesome and epic! Yay for neologism.

ANYWAYS! What I was going to talk about my hatred of many things and various people. So let's get started.

ITEM OF HATRED 1: Sports. Specifically sports that involve lots of moving and sweating. Like lacrosse. That's what we're doing in gym. It's soccer (or football to those European readers, maybe) with sticks with nets. It's stupid in my opinion.

ITEM OF HATRED 2: My heath/P.E. teacher, Mr. E. Not to be confused with Mister E, my social studies teacher, Mr. E. is mean. One of the girls in my class hurt her knee playing softball or something and can't participate. So when she gives Mr. E. the doctor's note saying she can't participate, he makes her do one of those action plans that are meant for people who don't change clothes. Really, you crazy, old fudgebag?!

ITEM OF HATRED 3: Mr. S. Mr. S is a crazy old man who I hate. A lot. He is the string and band teacher at my school and most everybody hates him. At the beginning of the year he's all nice and you start to think that he's a really awesome teacher but YOUR DEAD WRONG! Well, I guess if you're one of the lucky ones and he doesn't end up decapitating you with his old cymbals, you'd be right about him being awesome. But I'll always hate him. The crazy, old stubrag.

ITEM OF HATRED 4: Most people. Notice I said most. Meaning those awesome individuals who I associate myself with, aren't hated! I just don't like people.

ITEM OF HATRED 5: Some computers. More specifically, PCs. They crash, get viruses, and get the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. Macs on the other hand, don't do those things, unless you have the first ever Macintosh. I like macs.

ITEM OF HATRED 6: My science teacher, Mrs. Vase. I was ten seconds late to class today. And she made me stay after for ten minutes. I swear, she loves her gerbil, Flealick, more than teaching. That crazy, old bat.

And now, the first ever performance of The World Is NOT Awesome!

I hate the mountains.
I hate the clear blue skies.
I hate big bridges.
I hate when great whites fly.
I hate the whole world and
all it's sights and sounds.

Boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da,
boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da.

I hate the ocean.
I hate real dirty things.
I hate to go fast.
I hate Egyptian kings.
I hate the whole world
and all its craziness

Boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da,
boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da.

I hate tornadoes.
I hate arachnids.
I hate hot magma.
I hate the giant squid.
I hate the whole world.
It's not a brilliant place.

Boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da,
boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da.

I'm so bored... so bored... SOOOO BOORED

I am doing absolutely... nothing. I'm tired, bored, and the only relatively entertaining thing on is Adventure Time. But I've seen all of the aired episodes. I know what will make this better! AN UNOFFICIALLY OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL RANDOM QUESTIONS! oh, never mind. Too much work... and thinking... and, uh, effort. So there goes that.

How about those men who might be giants? And Jupiter is Jupiter-ing. OK, this is crap. What we need is a FRIENDLY MUSHROOM! Looks like Sokka's on the cactus juice again.

And now a medley of your favorite public domain songs:

SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT, COMIN' TO CARRY ME HOME- a-JIMMY CRACK CORN AND I DON'T CARE! a-JIMMY CRACK CORN AND I DON'T CARE! a-JIMMY CRACK CORN AND I DON'T CCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRREE... *i'm so bored*

Cheese Face out.

Oh, my God, I Can't Believe I've Done It!

The Cheeseys are coming in 3 weeks and you have that long to vote! Vote on your favorite ad, movie, band, etc., etc., and may the best category win! Now since this is perhaps one of the BIGGEST EVENTS IN THE WORLD be sure to tell your aunts, uncles, grandparents, parents, friends, friends of parents, cousins, neighborhood teens, teens form other neighborhoods about this historic event! Oh, the times fly when your havin' fun.

Cheese Face out.

*sniff* *sigh* Pollen

I hate the pollen
I think it totally sucks.
Pollen makes me sneeze...

A haiku of my hatred of my allergies. I hate them. Today, I had a sneeze attack that lasted, like, 15 minutes. 15 MINUTES OF SNEEZING MY BRAINS OUT! Who came up with pollen, anyways? WAS IT YOU, JIMMY?! OR YOU, GEORGE?! OR WAS IT... THE RED SQUIRREL?!?! or was it someone more sinister, like Mrs. Vase or Mr. S. or Mother Nature. CURSE YOU EARTH! I mean, I recycle, and use Eco-friendly pesticides on my lawn and I'm all for those gigantic wind farms that are poppin' up in Cheesecakia! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!? Did I accidentally throw away paper instead of putting it in the recycling receptacle? Did I diss corn? Did I take revenge on Wal-Mart? I don't know, man, just help me out.

Cheese Face *sniff sniff* out.