My Hatred Toward Many Things

It's National Hate Day in Cheesecakia. What's "National Hate Day," you ask? IT'S WHEN SASQUATCH AND TOOTH FAIRY GO TO THEIR SUMMER HOME IN PRAGUE AND SPREAD JOY TO ALL THE UNICORN-MAN-BEAR BABIES! Actually, I lied. There is no "hatred holiday". But someone should make a hatred holiday real. Won't that be EPIC! I think it would be.

But anyways, yay Emma! Yous was featured on a notable blog and that itself is AWESPIC! Yes, awespic, a combination of awesome and epic! Yay for neologism.

ANYWAYS! What I was going to talk about my hatred of many things and various people. So let's get started.

ITEM OF HATRED 1: Sports. Specifically sports that involve lots of moving and sweating. Like lacrosse. That's what we're doing in gym. It's soccer (or football to those European readers, maybe) with sticks with nets. It's stupid in my opinion.

ITEM OF HATRED 2: My heath/P.E. teacher, Mr. E. Not to be confused with Mister E, my social studies teacher, Mr. E. is mean. One of the girls in my class hurt her knee playing softball or something and can't participate. So when she gives Mr. E. the doctor's note saying she can't participate, he makes her do one of those action plans that are meant for people who don't change clothes. Really, you crazy, old fudgebag?!

ITEM OF HATRED 3: Mr. S. Mr. S is a crazy old man who I hate. A lot. He is the string and band teacher at my school and most everybody hates him. At the beginning of the year he's all nice and you start to think that he's a really awesome teacher but YOUR DEAD WRONG! Well, I guess if you're one of the lucky ones and he doesn't end up decapitating you with his old cymbals, you'd be right about him being awesome. But I'll always hate him. The crazy, old stubrag.

ITEM OF HATRED 4: Most people. Notice I said most. Meaning those awesome individuals who I associate myself with, aren't hated! I just don't like people.

ITEM OF HATRED 5: Some computers. More specifically, PCs. They crash, get viruses, and get the BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH. Macs on the other hand, don't do those things, unless you have the first ever Macintosh. I like macs.

ITEM OF HATRED 6: My science teacher, Mrs. Vase. I was ten seconds late to class today. And she made me stay after for ten minutes. I swear, she loves her gerbil, Flealick, more than teaching. That crazy, old bat.

And now, the first ever performance of The World Is NOT Awesome!

I hate the mountains.
I hate the clear blue skies.
I hate big bridges.
I hate when great whites fly.
I hate the whole world and
all it's sights and sounds.

Boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da,
boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da.

I hate the ocean.
I hate real dirty things.
I hate to go fast.
I hate Egyptian kings.
I hate the whole world
and all its craziness

Boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da,
boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da.

I hate tornadoes.
I hate arachnids.
I hate hot magma.
I hate the giant squid.
I hate the whole world.
It's not a brilliant place.

Boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da,
boom-de-ah-da, boom-de-ah-da.