We teens do things that adults don't: follow an unwritten rulebook made for all teens. We may not all follow the same rules, but we follow the rules of this book nonetheless. It's completely different from the Adult Rulebook, so it'll make sense if you DON'T think about it. I give to thee, the Unwritten Rules of Teenhood.
1. You will eventually buy something popular, only to have it not be cool the next day. I've had this happen. Remember Nano pets? Like the precursor to the Tamagotchi pets? They were awesome when I was in second grade. Being the stupid little kid I was, I begged my grandma to buy me one so I'd be "cool" in third grade. When third grade came, no one had them, and I looked like a fool. And my little virtual pet became ill and his battery depleted, thus draining him, and my little 3rd grade heart, of life.
2. Your heart will get broken during your teen romances. I haven't had this happen to me, but it will happen to all teens eventually. Probably a lot.
3. There's no use arguing with your parents. Parents like to win.
4. The word 'like' will occur in your vocabulary every five words. Yes, counting similes. I have a problem with 'like'. I may be the poster teen for this rule. I say it ALL. THE. TIME. So much to the point to where I've combined it's and like to form Isslike. I'm working on this habit.
5. Teachers expect you to to do your homework on weekends too. That is, if you didn't do it on Friday.
6. The "mean girls" don't seems so mean if you know one of them was a Girl Scout. And you're the only one who knows. ;-)
7. All insults will result in a "your face," "your mom" or some other variation of them, by your verbal tormentor.
8. For band and strings people: If you play an instrument at school, you will be like by most of the popular kids. This is because you are their ticket out of class if you have an assembly.
9. If a teacher/parent says there won't be a snowday tomorrow you have two options for when they're wrong: Say "Nertz to you!" and proceed to do a victory dance or say the 4 Words, in random order they are Told, I You, So.
Some of the Rules for Teenhood.
Cheese Face out
31 January 2011
15 January 2011
20 Things To Do on a Saturday Night`
Many people go out to a club or go see a movie on a Saturday night. If you are an unfortunate loser who has no social life, OR you're just bored, on a Saturday night, try some of these activities.
1. Read a book
2. Surf the web
3. Create a Facebook
4. Go see a play
5. Read Emma's blog
6. Read Allie Brosh's blog
7. Watch Inception
8. Play one of the seven games you can play with a dictionary
9. Watch Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
10. Go grocery shopping
11. Watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
12. Go to a football game
13. Crash your enemy's party
14. Text people you don't know
15. Watch "Behold! Herman." on YouTube
16. Watch season(s) 1, 2, 3,4, and/or 5 of Doctor Who*
17. Quiz your parakeet
18. Read a tabloid
19. Hug your neighbor
20. Memorize pi
Cheese Face out.
* If you watch all 5 seasons of Doctor Who in one day, you'll either a. go insane or b. start speaking in a British accent
1. Read a book
2. Surf the web
3. Create a Facebook
4. Go see a play
5. Read Emma's blog
6. Read Allie Brosh's blog
7. Watch Inception
8. Play one of the seven games you can play with a dictionary
9. Watch Scott Pilgrim vs. The World
10. Go grocery shopping
11. Watch Dr. Horrible's Sing-Along Blog
12. Go to a football game
13. Crash your enemy's party
14. Text people you don't know
15. Watch "Behold! Herman." on YouTube
16. Watch season(s) 1, 2, 3,4, and/or 5 of Doctor Who*
17. Quiz your parakeet
18. Read a tabloid
19. Hug your neighbor
20. Memorize pi
Cheese Face out.
* If you watch all 5 seasons of Doctor Who in one day, you'll either a. go insane or b. start speaking in a British accent
10 January 2011
Random Questions: Post 21
Random question 1: If the fire department and the fire departmant arrive at the same intersection at the same time, who has the right-of-way?
Answer: The police.
Random question 2: About how many inches of snow is Cheeseland expected to receive?
Answer: I've heard stories of 6-7 inches, but I really don't know
Random Question 3: What do you plan to do on this snowday?
Answer: Go sledding.
Random Question 4: Is it true that George Washington was the first President of the US of A?
Answer: No. There were 14 congressional presidents before him that Congress elected every year. GW was the first Constitutional president.
Cheese Face out.
08 January 2011
Stealing Internets the Easy Way
I am at my dad's apartment stealing the Interwebs from one of his neighbors. How did I do this? I use a modified version of Allie Brosh's Internet pirating technique.
If you are without Internet and want to steals some from people in urban Cheesecakia (as opposed to rural Montana) try this technique.
1. Click on the signal strength on your start menu for PCs or whatever the Macintosh people use
2. Find a signal that is unsecured because you don't want to waste precious interneting times trying to hack people's password
3. Connect to that signal
4. You are going to want to do your interneting quickly before the owners of the signal find out you are in the Internet connection because this is urban Cheesecakia and you will probably be arrested or something
5. Use this technique whenever you are without Internet
It's so easy a caveman could do it!
Cheese Face out
If you are without Internet and want to steals some from people in urban Cheesecakia (as opposed to rural Montana) try this technique.
1. Click on the signal strength on your start menu for PCs or whatever the Macintosh people use
2. Find a signal that is unsecured because you don't want to waste precious interneting times trying to hack people's password
3. Connect to that signal
4. You are going to want to do your interneting quickly before the owners of the signal find out you are in the Internet connection because this is urban Cheesecakia and you will probably be arrested or something
5. Use this technique whenever you are without Internet
It's so easy a caveman could do it!
Cheese Face out
07 January 2011
Chatting With the TSA: Installment 2
Remember a few months ago, when I started this? Well I emailed the Transportation Security Agency last weekend. Here's what I said:
Hi there! If you remember correctly, I emailed you guys about this matter several months ago, but I was kind of unsatisfied with your response. Specifically, I was wondering why liquids must be in a 3.4 ounce container. And what would it take to have the limit upped to, I dunno, 8 ounces. If that won't work I understand. If you would please reply posthaste, as I intend to post your response on my blog, http://thecheeseface.blogspot.com to answer any questions for readers wondering about these things. Also, I kinda promised readers that I'd email you again and post your response as a segment I call, "Chatting With the TSA".
Sincerely,
The Outside-the-Box Thinker; blogger
And here's what they said:
Thank you for your e-mail regarding traveling with liquids, gels, and aerosols in your carry-on baggage.
In response to the threat to aviation posed by liquid explosives, TSA has a policy affecting the liquids, gels, and aerosols that passengers can bring through security checkpoints.
The policy allows that:
. Travelers may carry through security checkpoints travel-size toiletries, in containers 3.4 ounces or smaller. All of these must fit comfortably in and be placed in ONE, QUART-SIZE, clear plastic, zip-top bag.
. After clearing security, travelers can now bring onboard aircraft the beverages and other items they purchase in the secured boarding area beyond the security checkpoint.
At the checkpoint, each traveler is asked to remove his or her zip-top bag of liquids, gels, and aerosols and place it on the conveyor belt. X-raying the items separately allows TSA security officers to more easily examine the declared items.
Containers larger than 3.4 ounces of prescription liquid medications, baby formula, breast milk, and diabetic glucose treatments are allowed through security checkpoints. These must be declared at the checkpoint for additional screening. If the passenger fails to make this declaration, he or she is unlikely to be allowed to bring the item through the checkpoint, barring extenuating circumstances. Passengers should only carry-on medications that they need to have available during their itinerary. Passengers are permitted to carry non-prescription liquid or gel medications, such as saline solution or KY-Jelly, required for medical necessity. Frozen items are also allowed so long as they are solid and in a "frozen state" when presented for screening. If frozen items are partially melted or have any liquid at the bottom of the container, the ice/liquid container must meet 3-1-1 requirements.
This security regime applies to all domestic and international flights departing U.S. airports. Travelers should, however, check with transportation security authorities in their country-of-origin for information about security regimes at non-U.S. airports.
Travel tips to make TSA screening hassle-free:
De-clutter your carry-on bag. This lets our Transportation Security Officers get a clear, uncomplicated X-ray image of your carry-on.
When possible, keep packing liquids in checked baggage. You will get through security faster.
Limit quantities to what is needed for the duration of the flight.
Items purchased in the secure boarding are for use on the immediate flight. If you must leave the secure boarding area and re-enter through the screening checkpoint, items exceeding 3.4 ounces that are not in the zip-top bag will again be prohibited.
TSA's policy on liquids, aerosols and gels originates from the August 10, 2006, arrests in the United Kingdom of extremists who plotted to use liquid explosives to destroy multiple passenger aircraft flying from the United Kingdom to the United States. Since then, experts from around the government, including the FBI and our national labs, conducted extensive explosives testing to get a better understanding of this specific threat. Our policy is intended to enhance security and balance human needs based on our understanding of the threat and security risks associated with liquids, aerosols, and gels.
TSA encourages you to visit our website at www.tsa.gov for additional information about TSA. We continue to add new information and encourage you to check the website frequently for updated information.
We hope this information is helpful.
TSA Contact Center
Now if they could put that in Layman's terms.
Cheese Face out.
Hi there! If you remember correctly, I emailed you guys about this matter several months ago, but I was kind of unsatisfied with your response. Specifically, I was wondering why liquids must be in a 3.4 ounce container. And what would it take to have the limit upped to, I dunno, 8 ounces. If that won't work I understand. If you would please reply posthaste, as I intend to post your response on my blog, http://thecheeseface.blogspot.com to answer any questions for readers wondering about these things. Also, I kinda promised readers that I'd email you again and post your response as a segment I call, "Chatting With the TSA".
Sincerely,
The Outside-the-Box Thinker; blogger
And here's what they said:
Thank you for your e-mail regarding traveling with liquids, gels, and aerosols in your carry-on baggage.
In response to the threat to aviation posed by liquid explosives, TSA has a policy affecting the liquids, gels, and aerosols that passengers can bring through security checkpoints.
The policy allows that:
. Travelers may carry through security checkpoints travel-size toiletries, in containers 3.4 ounces or smaller. All of these must fit comfortably in and be placed in ONE, QUART-SIZE, clear plastic, zip-top bag.
. After clearing security, travelers can now bring onboard aircraft the beverages and other items they purchase in the secured boarding area beyond the security checkpoint.
At the checkpoint, each traveler is asked to remove his or her zip-top bag of liquids, gels, and aerosols and place it on the conveyor belt. X-raying the items separately allows TSA security officers to more easily examine the declared items.
Containers larger than 3.4 ounces of prescription liquid medications, baby formula, breast milk, and diabetic glucose treatments are allowed through security checkpoints. These must be declared at the checkpoint for additional screening. If the passenger fails to make this declaration, he or she is unlikely to be allowed to bring the item through the checkpoint, barring extenuating circumstances. Passengers should only carry-on medications that they need to have available during their itinerary. Passengers are permitted to carry non-prescription liquid or gel medications, such as saline solution or KY-Jelly, required for medical necessity. Frozen items are also allowed so long as they are solid and in a "frozen state" when presented for screening. If frozen items are partially melted or have any liquid at the bottom of the container, the ice/liquid container must meet 3-1-1 requirements.
This security regime applies to all domestic and international flights departing U.S. airports. Travelers should, however, check with transportation security authorities in their country-of-origin for information about security regimes at non-U.S. airports.
Travel tips to make TSA screening hassle-free:
De-clutter your carry-on bag. This lets our Transportation Security Officers get a clear, uncomplicated X-ray image of your carry-on.
When possible, keep packing liquids in checked baggage. You will get through security faster.
Limit quantities to what is needed for the duration of the flight.
Items purchased in the secure boarding are for use on the immediate flight. If you must leave the secure boarding area and re-enter through the screening checkpoint, items exceeding 3.4 ounces that are not in the zip-top bag will again be prohibited.
TSA's policy on liquids, aerosols and gels originates from the August 10, 2006, arrests in the United Kingdom of extremists who plotted to use liquid explosives to destroy multiple passenger aircraft flying from the United Kingdom to the United States. Since then, experts from around the government, including the FBI and our national labs, conducted extensive explosives testing to get a better understanding of this specific threat. Our policy is intended to enhance security and balance human needs based on our understanding of the threat and security risks associated with liquids, aerosols, and gels.
TSA encourages you to visit our website at www.tsa.gov for additional information about TSA. We continue to add new information and encourage you to check the website frequently for updated information.
We hope this information is helpful.
TSA Contact Center
Now if they could put that in Layman's terms.
Cheese Face out.
06 January 2011
7 Games You Can Play With a Dictionary
Dictionaries are versatile tools, really. You can look stuff up, use a page as a tissue or find a "more descriptive word to make your story come to life" for your English teacher. But one thing the don't teach you in school is how to use a dictionary for fun(and yes, I'm talking about the big college-sized hardcover ones, not the little sissified paperback ones you get in fourth grade). How do you do that? Allow me to tell you seven games you can play with a dictionary.
1. Dictionary Roulette
Russian roulette with a dictionary
RULES:
1. Find a group of people and make a circle
2. Have someone stand in the middle with the dictionary
3. Have the person in the middle start spinning in a circle
4. Once you have enough momentum, let go of the dictionary
5. See who gets hit
2+ players
2. Dictionary Tag
Throw the dictionary at fellow homo sapiens (aka humans)and see if they're the new "it".
RULES:
1. Whoever has the dictionary is it
2. Throw the dictionary at people
3. If hit, see if they cry
4. If they don't, they're it
5. If they do, they're it
2+ players
3. Dodge Dictionary
Dodge ball with dictionaries.
RULES:
1. Lay a bunch of dictionaries on the ground in the middle of your playing field
2. Maximum of two dictionaries per person
3. Throw dictionaries at opposing team
4. If hit, you're out
5. Don't get hit
2+ players
4. Dingo (dictionary+Bingo=dingo)
Dictionary bingo
RULES:
1. Pick 25 words out of a dictionary
2. write word on a 5x5 square card
3. Have someone call out words from aforementioned dictionary
4. Yell "DINGO" if you fill out five words in a row( can be vertical, horizontal or diagonal)
3+ players
5. Throw the Dictionary
See how far it goes.
RULES:
1. Get dictionary
2. Throw it
3. Measure how far it goes
1+ players
6. Break the Dictionary
Mess it up good.
RULES:
1. Do whatever it takes to reduce it to a pile of smoldering ashes
1+ players
7. Find the Dictionary
Hide and find the dictionary.
RULES:
1. Have someone hide the dictionary
2. Find it
3. You win if you find it in under a minute.
2+ players
There ya go. 7 games you can play with a dictionary.
Cheese Face out.
1. Dictionary Roulette
Russian roulette with a dictionary
RULES:
1. Find a group of people and make a circle
2. Have someone stand in the middle with the dictionary
3. Have the person in the middle start spinning in a circle
4. Once you have enough momentum, let go of the dictionary
5. See who gets hit
2+ players
2. Dictionary Tag
Throw the dictionary at fellow homo sapiens (aka humans)and see if they're the new "it".
RULES:
1. Whoever has the dictionary is it
2. Throw the dictionary at people
3. If hit, see if they cry
4. If they don't, they're it
5. If they do, they're it
2+ players
3. Dodge Dictionary
Dodge ball with dictionaries.
RULES:
1. Lay a bunch of dictionaries on the ground in the middle of your playing field
2. Maximum of two dictionaries per person
3. Throw dictionaries at opposing team
4. If hit, you're out
5. Don't get hit
2+ players
4. Dingo (dictionary+Bingo=dingo)
Dictionary bingo
RULES:
1. Pick 25 words out of a dictionary
2. write word on a 5x5 square card
3. Have someone call out words from aforementioned dictionary
4. Yell "DINGO" if you fill out five words in a row( can be vertical, horizontal or diagonal)
3+ players
5. Throw the Dictionary
See how far it goes.
RULES:
1. Get dictionary
2. Throw it
3. Measure how far it goes
1+ players
6. Break the Dictionary
Mess it up good.
RULES:
1. Do whatever it takes to reduce it to a pile of smoldering ashes
1+ players
7. Find the Dictionary
Hide and find the dictionary.
RULES:
1. Have someone hide the dictionary
2. Find it
3. You win if you find it in under a minute.
2+ players
There ya go. 7 games you can play with a dictionary.
Cheese Face out.
04 January 2011
20 Things: That are Palindromes
A palindrome is a word, phrase, or number that is the same forward and backward. Things like 'racecar'. Here are twenty phrases that are palindromes.
1. Sit on a potato pan, Otis
2. Vanna, wanna V?
3. Ma is as selfless as I am
4. Rats live on no evil star
5. Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo
6. Men, I'm Eminem
7. He lived as a devil, eh?
8. Evil live
9. Live evil
10. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama
11. I saw Santa--At NASA was I
12. A Toyota! Race fast, safe car! A Toyota
13. A Toyota's a Toyota
14. Ah, Satan sees Natasha!
15. Aibohphobia
16. Amy, must I jujitsu my ma?!
17. Lager, sir, is regal
18. No sir! Away! A papaya war is on!
19. Draw O coward!
20. Gnu dung
Aww, the list is over. I guess we'll just BRING IT ON IN TO OMLETTEVILLE!!!
Cheese Face out.
1. Sit on a potato pan, Otis
2. Vanna, wanna V?
3. Ma is as selfless as I am
4. Rats live on no evil star
5. Oozy rat in a sanitary zoo
6. Men, I'm Eminem
7. He lived as a devil, eh?
8. Evil live
9. Live evil
10. A man, a plan, a canal, Panama
11. I saw Santa--At NASA was I
12. A Toyota! Race fast, safe car! A Toyota
13. A Toyota's a Toyota
14. Ah, Satan sees Natasha!
15. Aibohphobia
16. Amy, must I jujitsu my ma?!
17. Lager, sir, is regal
18. No sir! Away! A papaya war is on!
19. Draw O coward!
20. Gnu dung
Aww, the list is over. I guess we'll just BRING IT ON IN TO OMLETTEVILLE!!!
Cheese Face out.
03 January 2011
My Computer Listens to Me!
I was experimenting with the control panel of my new lappy and found that it has the speech recognition tool. In fact that is know I am writing this posed right now. By talking into a microphone. It's not 100% accurate though but it works pretty well.
One of the things I was using it for was to write something in Word that I'd like to call The World According to Cheese Face. It's about them randomly thoughts that come into my head. One of the things I wrote about was about Chuck Norris. Laughs. I think I might start a new segment titled exactly that and I will copy/paste everything from that document onto Cheese Face's Daily Dilemma.
Cheese Face out.
One of the things I was using it for was to write something in Word that I'd like to call The World According to Cheese Face. It's about them randomly thoughts that come into my head. One of the things I wrote about was about Chuck Norris. Laughs. I think I might start a new segment titled exactly that and I will copy/paste everything from that document onto Cheese Face's Daily Dilemma.
Cheese Face out.
01 January 2011
My Mouth Hurts...
Tip of the day: Never ever ever eat 9 Air Heads after habitually biting your bottom lip. It burns. A lot. Please don't ask me how I know this. Please, PLEASE, DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS.
That is all.
Cheese Face out.
That is all.
Cheese Face out.
Random Questions: Post 20
The first Random Questions post of 2011. WOW, 2010 went fast. But 2011 is going to get even better, I can feel it in my squiddily-spooch. BRING ON THE iPAD 3.0!!
Random Question 1: What is Agent Gibbs' hobby?
Answer: Building boats in his basement whilst drinking bourbon.
Random Question 2: Where is Waldo?
Answer: Missouri.
Random Question 3: I am not alive, but I grow; I don't have lungs, but I need air; I don't have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?
Answer: Fire.
Random Question 4: If it rains in Cincinnati an 4:35 pm and stops at 6:30 pm, moves west towards Chicago and starts raining there at 7:46 pm, when is your infamous bagel recipe done?
Answer: At the corner of 1st and Adams.
Cheese Face out.
Random Question 1: What is Agent Gibbs' hobby?
Answer: Building boats in his basement whilst drinking bourbon.
Random Question 2: Where is Waldo?
Answer: Missouri.
Random Question 3: I am not alive, but I grow; I don't have lungs, but I need air; I don't have a mouth, but water kills me. What am I?
Answer: Fire.
Random Question 4: If it rains in Cincinnati an 4:35 pm and stops at 6:30 pm, moves west towards Chicago and starts raining there at 7:46 pm, when is your infamous bagel recipe done?
Answer: At the corner of 1st and Adams.
Cheese Face out.
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