20 Things: To Say to Annoy the Pizza Guy

Welcome! This is 20 Things. The Pizza Guy is one of the most loved and hated people of America Cheesecakia.

Loved Example: "Oh, JOY! He's here!!"
Hated Example: "THIS SHOULD OF BEEN HERE IN 30 MINUTES OR LESS!"

Thus proving my point. Here are 20 things you can do to annoy the crap out of the dude/dudette who takes your call.

1. Sing the order to the tune of your favorite song from Metallica's "Master of Puppets" CD.
2. Answer their questions with questions.
3. Order while using an electric knife sharpener.
4. Have your pizza "shaken, not stirred".
5. Crack your knuckles into the receiver.
6. Rent a pizza.
7. Stutter on the letter 'p'.
8. Move the mouthpiece farther and farther away from your lips as you speak. When the call ends, jerk the mouthpiece back in place and scream goodbye at the top of your lungs.
9. Tell them to put the crust on top this time.
10. Tell them to double-check that the pizza is, in fact, dead.
11. Eliminate verbs from your speech.
12. Play a sitar in the background.
13. Order a slice, not a whole pizza.
14. Use CB lingo where applicable.
15. Psychoanalyze the order taker.
16. Order two toppings, then say, "No, they'll start fighting".
17. Learn to correctly pronounce the ingredients of a Twinkie. Ask that these be included in the pizza.
18. Order with a Speak-n-Spell where available.
19.Put them on hold.
20. Perfect a celebrity's voice. Stress that you won't take any crap from some two-bit, can't-hack-it, pimple-faced gofer.

Try it and see what happens.

Cheese Face out.