New Semester, New Teachers

'Tis the beginning of a new semester. And with that, brings changes in my schedule. I have new teachers, as well as a few teachers from last semester. I give you:

A Guide to Cheese Face's Teachers

Mr. Casper: Not his real name, but his name sounds like Casper the Friendly Ghost. He is pretty cool. He's my geoscience teacher.

Schwartzie: Previously known as "Captain", until I discovered upperclassmen in orchestra already had an "affectionate pet name" for him.

Ms. C: My new English teacher! She's much, much better than my teacher last semester. She's nice, and her voice doesn't get on my nerves. My last English teacher, when we were doing Romeo and Juliet, would often mispronounce the word 'soliloquy' by saying 'soliquy'. I was like, "Seriously, you've done this dozens of times, you shouldn't mispronounce 'soliloquy'. There's another syllable!" This last teacher is the won I wrote the crackfic for.

Magister: Previously known as "Mr. Awesome McCoolname" until I learned the Latin word for teacher or master is 'magister'.

Mr. M.: He is my computer apps teacher. He's nice, but he's kind of nerdy, which isn't bad. He's also young enough to have a junior brother going to my school.

Mrs. D.: She's my geography teacher. She's nice and really funny. I like her.

Mrs. Smurphy: She's my geometry teacher. She's nice, but her voice gets on my nerves after a little while, kind of like the Smurfs. Hence why I call her 'Smurphy'.

Cheese Face out.

I'm Writing a Crack Fanfic

It's for English. We have to right a children's story with two animals that have to learn to settle their differences and make friends. My animals are a hedgehog (called John) and a giraffe (called the Doctor). Basically it's a Sherlock/Doctor Who crack fanfiction. Here's an excerpt.

“Oof!” He landed behind some bushes.  John brushed himself off and started to skitter down the street. Just as he came to a corner, he heard a loud sound. VVWWWOOORRRP! VVWWWOOORRRP! VVWWWOOORRRP!  It was an old police box! After the noise settled, a giraffe dressed in suspenders and a blue bowtie opened the door.

            “Hello, I’m the Doctor!”

            “A doctor? Doctor who?” John blinked.

            “Just the Doctor!”

            “You can’t be a doctor. You’re a giraffe!”

            The Doctor walked around and eyed John. “Why are you wearing a sweater?”

            “Why are you wearing a bowtie?”

            “Oi! Bowties are cool.”

First Day o'School

Yes, I will get around to the Cheesey Awards. I've been busy. With a trip to the west coast (pics later) and getting ready for school.

Anyhoo! Today was the first day of school. Best. First day. Ever. The day started with the usual school prep stuff.

Then I got dropped off. Since I missed the first id card picture day, I had to take it today, and that took about five minutes. Then I had to find one of the million different gyms so the 500 and some students could break up into groups and go on tours of the building.

After the tours we went to our classes, where the teachers told us about the rules of the school and things we could join and how lunch works.

Teachers this year are:

Mr. Severus. Not his real name, but his real name reminds me of Severus Snape. And I'm not even a Potter fan. (scandalous, i know!) He is my geometry teacher. He's cool.

Captain. He was the director of a orchestra camp I used to attend. Hence 'captain'. But yeah, he's the orchestra teacher. The teacher of an orchestra with 54 students. When you go from a class of about 18 to 54 it is a big jump. We were just talking about how we'd fit everyone in one class...

Then I have Ms. I'll just call her Ms. She teaches English.

I have decided to take a foreign language. So my Latin teacher's name is Mr. Awesome McCoolname. Because, I can't pronounce it and when he does it's flippin' awesome.

Then there is Mr. Craft, my civics teacher.

Then, I have Ms. Rice who teaches fitness for life (gym, basically). We have a Canadian kid, a Brazilian kid, and a Swedish kid in my class.

Lastly I have Mr. W. He sorta looks like Jamie Heineman, from Mythbusters. He teaches physical science. Physics! Physics, physics, physics. PPPPHHHHYYYYSSSSIIIICCCSSSS.

And then we had a pep rally. It was ok. I sorta almost didn't learn the school fight song. And watched peppy cheerleaders... cheer.

Cheese Face out.

Revenge is Sweet

So there's this student teacher for Vase. We'll call him, Mr Krueger because he's either mean, or pyscotic or a mixture of both. But one thing everybody knows for sure is that he has to go. For real.

Lemme rewind. On Tuesday one of the girls in my class was talking to this boy who sits next to her about how she touched a bat because it was stuck in her pool. Mr Krueger caught them and said, "You two can flirt later." Not bad, that's something even Vase would say. But as the girl tried to explain Mr Krueger told her that you could get rabies from touching a bat, which we all should know is true. You're probably saying that Mr Krueger is just being a good Samaritan, right? Well, let me continue before you go judging. So, two days later (aka today, if you lost track) Mr Krueger is still calling the girl "Rabid" and "Rabies" AND telling the class not to talk to her. And no, he's not joking.

I've also heard in my social studies class that he's a bit of a perv, and called a student smart"butt" (hey, gotta keep it family friendly) multiple times. He also calls one student in my class Special Ed, when he's not. Well, Vase sometimes calls him that, but it's a special kind of funny when she does. Not like when Mr Krueger does it. He says it mean. Mr Krueger also onced asked a somewhat short girl what the average height of a midget is. Now does he seem like a good guy?

But as the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served cold. In social studies today, we passed around a piece of notebook paper and used it to write every mean or rude thing he's ever done to us. We are gonna turn it in either to the principal or the counselor. Either one works. Also the girl in my class who is called "Rabies" by Mr Krueger is going to record him saying every mean thing so we have actual proof that he is a psychopathic axe murder in his spare time.  Mr Krueger has got to go.

Cheese Face out.

Oh, and the Cheeseys are April 26. Vote now!

I've Got Spirit, Yes I Do...

I've got spirit, how 'bout you? Today marks the start of my school's Spirit Week. Today was Decade Day, so what better to celebrate the decades than by dressing as a time traveler. That's right, I dressed as the Tenth Doctor. I give you pics!

Half-built Daleks don't stand a chance.

Yeah, you're totally jealous aren't you, Britain?

Timey-Wimey Detector: goes "Ding!" when there's stuff.

 

Yes, that is a plastic replica of the Tenth Doctor's sonic screwdriver. Yeah, best Spirit Week costume ever. I'm going as the Doctor for Halloweenies.

Cheese Face out.

Solo: A Tale About Hard Work, Doctor Who References, Snowmen, and The Beatles

Yesterday, was the All-City Solo and Ensemble event for, as the name suggests, the city. Let's just say I'll never forget it...

The day started off with me, confused because the night before I had a dream about Solo and Ensemble with me doing my performance, talking to the judge afterward, and the judge and I having a fairly nice conversation about Doctor Who. I told my mom I thought it meant I was going to get a 1 rating, which is superior. Best dream ever (you'll see why later)

I went to school excited and then came strings class. I decided that I was going to perform for the class again so I'd have practice playing in front of a random stranger for the event. So I did that. It went well.

Then school got out. My dad picked my brother and me up from school and took us home, when lo and behold, some kid from school walks by and beheads Resurrected Herman. I was furious. My brother and I chased him down the street with a shovel. When we returned, my dad had made a new, scarier head for Herman and my brother destroyed his amazing Snow-Dalek(he didn't require tea).

After that little skirmish, I found that I had lost my house key. So my dad and brother attempted to MacGyver the door by lock picking with various things found in the car. Twenty minutes later, we decided to give up on MacGyvering and go get my sisters from their after school things, which I looked forward to because Mini Cheese Face has a house key attached to her backpack. Yay, we got access to enter the house. But first we had to get my fundraiser food and money for the school's Washington DC  trip I plan to go on. So we got the food and money and headed home to sort it.

While my dad was sorting the food, I was upstairs in my room practicing my piece for S&E which was Eleanor Rigby (which is how The Beatles fit in this little tale).

Then we had to take my siblings to my Nana's house because they wouldn't be able to handle S&E very well. That went fine. The trip from there to the school where the event was held, however, was not.

The trip was OK at first, only hitting a few stoplights. But when we reached downtown, it was like everyone had wanted evacuate the city (maybe because of a Dalek invasion?) It was not easy trying to navigate downtown Cheeseland. A truck hit a pothole so large that it popped off the truck's rear wheel and rim exploded off.  But then we reached the highways and it was smooth sailing from there... until we reached the school.  Apparently, the idiot who designed the driveway was either high or really wanted to make people's day miserable because it was almost impossible to weave through. We found our way to the front and my dad and I walked up to the building while my mom parked the car.

Well, now that we had found our way to this million-miles-away school, I could get set up to rehearse some more in the practice room and find my room. The practice room was the school's cafetorium, which is right in front of your face when you walk in through the main door. Mr. S said, multiple times, that you should set your things in the cafetorium and go find your room. Well, I didn't know where my room was. So I looked for someone I knew, in case they knew where it was. That person was my good friend and awesome percussionist/violist, Kayla! Unfortunately, she didn't know where my room was. So, my dad and I went off to find the mysterious room 145. We found it. At the very end of an already crowded hallway was room 145. Then my mom joined us in the practice room, where I, for the last time, rehearsed Eleanor Rigby.

Then I had to go to my room and wait in front of the door until my performance time. My time was originally 7:18 pm, but another group was late so everybody was late. I worked so hard for the past four weeks that I was not about to let some Suzuki-fed snobs have their moms complain to the judge and have their "precious angels" cut in front of me and the other non-Suzuki-brainwashed kids. Twenty minutes of Suzuki-fed snobs and Doctor Who jokes later, it was my turn. I rocked. So much so. My judge said that I didn't even need a string quartet to back me up.

Remember the dream I told you about earlier. This is where it comes in today. When I walked into strings class the results were posted and I had gotten a 1(which meant superior in case you forgot). I say the Doctor made this the best search for acceptance I've ever done. It was. Because the last time I searched for acceptance in the music world, it was for a city talent show. That was not so good...

Even though I got a 1 rating, the judge still offered some advice. She said: "Careful not to cheat the long note values. The rest of the rhythm were very good. Work on getting a bigger, deeper sound. Keep up the good work." She also said that "I looked very professional". Hmm.

After the event I felt like this:

Picture drawn by the Fantastic Emma.

I feel special.

Cheese Face out.

iArt

During the school year, I came up with many witty sayings. And I drew them on notebook paper. In 3D! And for an added bonus, I made little pictures to go along with said sayings. (Heh, pun unintentional). And now: iArt, aka Internet Art.

Oh, I'd hate to be that weatherman. This is the first picture I drew in my notebook. Pretty good, I'd say.

Oh this guy's no karma Houdini. Sucker.

Yes, we are the 3rd Rock From the Sun.

If you can't read it, the guy behind the counter is saying "Blueberry smoothie?" and the guy ordering is saying "True Chiz."

Yes I know 'tickle' is misspelled. It's supposed to be like that. It adds.... Randomness.

Who wouldn't want a PB bunny?

I had watched too much Avatar: The Last Airbender when I made this in social studies.

This onion's got problems if he's mean.

She's moody.

If you can't read it, the box says Question: Different weights fall at the same speed. Hypothesis: NO! Yes! And then there's a bowling ball and a tennis ball. I made it in science with Mrs. P. as our sub and we were watching Bill Nye.

I don't know what happened here...

Banana flavored pop?! As the tenth Doctor would say, "Banana's are good for you."

This bunny makes a good point.

Maybe the moon is made of cheese and the astronauts and NASA lied to us.

Is this a candy? Cuz I think it is. If you can't read the label on the butter carton it says: Real Artificial Butter By-Product made from nuts.

Should I buy Shan't or Shisn't?

Because I LOVE Doctor Who, I drew the TARDIS in all her glory.

Time Lords do rule. I had my brother draw the Tenth Doctor and oh, my God he's adorable. He's even more adorable when he whips out his Brainy Specs. *Squees* Click the pic to enjoy the Doctor's adorkableness.

Cheese Face out.

The Unwritten Rules of Teenhood

We teens do things that adults don't: follow an unwritten rulebook made for all teens. We may not all follow the same rules, but we follow the rules of this book nonetheless. It's completely different from the Adult Rulebook, so it'll make sense if you DON'T think about it. I give to thee, the Unwritten Rules of Teenhood.

1. You will eventually buy something popular, only to have it not be cool the next day. I've had this happen. Remember Nano pets? Like the precursor to the Tamagotchi pets? They were awesome when I was in second grade. Being the stupid little kid I was, I begged my grandma to buy me one so I'd be "cool" in third grade. When third grade came, no one had them, and I looked like a fool. And my little virtual pet became ill and his battery depleted, thus draining him, and my little 3rd grade heart, of life.

2.  Your heart will get broken during your teen romances. I haven't had this happen to me, but it will happen to all teens eventually. Probably a lot.

3. There's no use arguing with your parents. Parents like to win.

4. The word 'like' will occur in your vocabulary every five words. Yes, counting similes. I have a problem with 'like'. I may be the poster teen for this rule. I say it ALL. THE. TIME. So much to the point to where I've combined it's and like to form Isslike. I'm working on this habit.

5. Teachers expect you to to do your homework on weekends too. That is, if you didn't do it on Friday.

6. The "mean girls" don't seems so mean if you know one of them was a Girl Scout. And you're the only one who knows. ;-)

7. All insults will result in a "your face," "your mom" or some other variation of them, by your verbal tormentor.

8. For band and strings people: If you play an instrument at school, you will be like by most of the popular kids. This is because you are their ticket out of class if you have an assembly.

9. If a teacher/parent says there won't be a snowday tomorrow you have two options for when they're wrong: Say "Nertz to you!" and proceed to do a victory dance or say the 4 Words, in random order they are Told, I You, So.

Some of the Rules for Teenhood.

Cheese Face out

New Year's Eve Festival 2010

Good! You're here. Now we can party like it's 1989! Welcome to the New Year's Eve Festival of 2010.

Before we see which stuff won "best of" let's take a look at what happened over the year, shall we? Well for starters, January 1st of this year meant we were 2 years closer to our imminent doom of the Apocalypse. I still don't believe that, which is why on the supposed 'day the world ends' I'm going to sing REM's It's the End of the World As We Know It.

January 5th, President Obama met with Security Advisers to discuss the failed Christmas Day bombing, AKA, the underwear bomber. Which led to the TSA's tightening of rules...

January 12th, a 7.0 magnitude earthquake wreaks havoc on Haiti. Poor Haitians. I feel sorry for what they went through.

On January 20th, Haiti was hit with a 6.1 magnitude aftershock from the previous 'quake. Man, those guys just have bad luck or something, because I don't know what's going on down there.

January 27th, the Apple company announces its iPad. Whoo, technology just got better.

And also on January 27th, Haiti get hit with yet another aftershock, this one measuring a 4.9 magnitude. What is going on down there?!

February 6, Herman the Snowman is built. Not really important in world history but Herman deserves to be recognized.

February 7th, Super Bowl XLIV was held and the Saints won against the Colts, 31-17. If you drove by my house, Herman was holding a sign that read 'SUPER BOWL XLIV!!'.

February 12th, an Olympic Luger is killed during a practice run. The Olympics started and lasted through the 28th, as did my insane social studies assignment.

February 27th, a massive 8.8 magnitude earthquake it Chile. They say weird stuff happens when it gets close to the apocalypse, right. Because this is pretty weird chiz. First Haiti, then Chile...

March 20th, the volcano Eyjafjallajoekull, in Iceland erupted.

April 20th, the Deepwater Horizon explodes and causes one of the worst environmental disasters in history.

April 27th, the BP oil spill reaches the size of Rhode Island, which isn't so big in retrospect, but if you are an oil spill, it's kinda a big deal.

June 11th, the World Cup "kicks" off in South Africa. I guess you could say they had a "ball". Soccer puns. Always fun.

July 25th, WikiLeaks publishes the Afghan War Diary.

August 5th, BP begins cementing oil pipeline.

August 19th, Operation Iraqi Freedom ends.

October 13th, 33 Chilean miners are rescued after being trapped for 68 days. I remember the CNN live feed of the last miner being pulled out in Social Studies.

October 21st, the Haiti cholera epidemic starts. What's wrong in the Carribean? Just... no...
December 2nd, NASA discovers new life form.

December 21st was the first solstice lunar eclipse since 1638! And my mom got pictures on her camera too. Well, you'd make your mom stay up at 1:30 am to take pictures of the moon if it were the first solstice eclipse in over 300 years and there's not gonna be another one for another 84 years.

Those are some of the big events in 2010. Now let's get on with the Best things of 2010.

First up we have the Best Phone of 2010.
The nominees are
iPhone 3Gs
Android Phones
Blackberry Bold
HTC Nexus

and the best phone is... Android Phones. With their robotic....commercials and.... apps and....miscellaneous items.

Up next is Best TV Show of '10.
Nominees:
NCIS
Chuck
It Only Hurts When I Laugh
Victorious
Big Time Rush

and the winner is NCIS!

The next class of nominees is Worst 2010 Disaster.
Nominees:
Haiti earthquake
BP oil spill
California wildfires
2010 Heatwave

and the winners losers are Haiti earthquake and the oil spill people.

We'll be right back so please enjoy this picture of a chrysanthemum.

And we're back. Isn't it a pretty chysanthemum. I can't belive I can spell that correctly. Anyways it's time to find out what is the best website for 2010.

Is it:

The Other Wiki (aka Wikipedia)

Yahoo

Youtube

Google products

the winners are Youtube and the Google people.

And now it's time to find out what the best song of 2010 is.

Will it be

Bad Romance

Hey, Soul Sister

Baby

and the winner is...Hey, Soul Sister! I both love and hate that song because it's always getting stuck in my head, and my social studies class from last year kinda ruined the song for me from singing it out of tune. *shudder shudder*

And finally the last category for the best things of 2010 is Best Commercial for '10.

Nominees;

Keep your hands off my Doritos

VW commercials

Kindle commercials

Subway commercials

and the winner is.... Keep Your hands off my Doritos.

And now for the Best of The Best. Starting with the Worst Disaster of the Decade.

The nominees are;

The Twin Tower Attacks

Hurricane Katrina

2004 Tsunami

and the worst thing of the decade is 9/11 and Katrina.

The results for the best infomercial merchandise of the decade are in.

The nominees:

Mighty Putty

ShamWOW

Snuggie

EmeryCat

and the winners are Migty Putty and ShamWOW.

Best Commercial of the Decade.

Nominees:

Bird in the Hand

Sargent Therapy

Taco Party

the best commericial of the decade is... Sargent Therapy. "Maybe we should chug on over to Mamby-Pambyland where maybe we can find some self-confidence ya jackwagon!"

And finally the best song of the decade.

Nominees;

Single Ladies

Feel Good Inc.

Clocks

The Pretender

and the best songs from 2000 to 2010 are Feel Good Inc and Clocks

All right. Now you know everything that happened this year and the years greatest things AND the decades greatest things. Have a safe and happy holiday.

Cheese Face out

Why I Am Smarter Than Most Kids in My Class

I did say most. So not everyone is as "non-intellectual" as most others. Like my friends and other awesome people I know. They're like, super smart and stuff with advanced classes and just awesome like that. But a few weeks ago the school took the National Geographic Geography Bee Pre-test. I scored good, good meaning I was good enough to make others want to cheat off of me. And then yesterday the top 20 kids out of the 700 that occupy the building competed in the preliminary round and I was one. After all seven rounds were done, Mister E compared scores from the ten kids he had with the scores the other teacher had and I was good enough to move on to the final round with 9 others. I think the top 2 from that go to state and the winner from that goes to national and it's like a big deal just to win the school level. But last year I was in school level and came in fourth place. And all participants get a certificate of participation and a $10 gift card to Target. Yeah... it's so nice to be smart.

Cheese Face out.

Testing 1... 2... 3...

Howdy-do! Today was the 6 day of testing at my school. The Iowa Test of Basic Skills. I live in Cheesecakia. Why do I need to take a test from Boring-as-Heck Iowa? The good news is no homework! The bad news is, afterwards I'm bored. So... to compensate the boredom I draw posters with witty sayings like, Shoosh yeah, True chiz, Earth: It's a planet, and Fail and Pwnd.

I plan on making copies of these posters and selling them for 75 cents each. Childrens love witty catchphrases.

Cheese Face out.

"Even Prisoners Can Eat Cookies!"

That was a quote from today. I was late to Vase's class again because of my siblings. And so she and the VP sent me to lunch detention. Horrible, that place is.

For lunch detention, you either go to the band hallway or the Quiet Room. The band hallway, I'm pretty sure, is a place where you and the other delinquents can share why you got lunch detention, but the Quiet Room is aptly named. The rules are this:

1. No talking
2. Work independently
3. No gum, food or candy (except food for lunch detention, only no snacks, unless you have cold lunch)
4. Stay in your seat
5. No sleeping

Gosh dang it to heck, they treat us worse than prisoners. I'm serious, prisoners can eat cookies and chew gum and can talk to their prison friends and sleep. What the chiz?!

And I tried to see what time it was and to do that I had to turn around to the back of the room and the teacher yelled at me. WTC?!

So that was my day.

On the plus side, I got super awesome Converse shoes/boots and I went all out Goth and sweetness. Only the jerks asked me if my choker was a dog collar and so I said, "No, it's a choker, smart one." I should have said, "No, it's a wall of psychic energy keeping me from killing the world," but the school is teaching suicide prevention and I don't want to deal with the crap that comes from being smarter than the prissies.

The Cheese Face: The Best Days Ever

During school, there were many wonderful days, that often got a few laughs. Here are the best.

Carl

The story of Carl. When I was new to Cheeseland Middle School, well, not really new, but WE were the youngest grade, the Impaler and I had strings class together. In a portable. Because the school is old, and falling apart. But on one of the last weeks of school the door was open, because it was such a nice day. The Impaler and I were practicing our duet for the concert when in flew... A WASP! Now, I don't like flying, stinging insects, or any insect for that matter. So I was like, "Oh my God, a wasp!" and out teacher was like, "Where?" and I was like," over by the door." So our teacher gets, I think a music book, to try to shoo it away, "Go on, get out of here", but I though he said, "Carl get out of here." And so Impaler and our teacher was like, "What?" Then our teacher said, "Don't name him because then you'll be like 'don't kill Carl.'" And so, on the way back to the building, Impaler kept screaming wasp at random intervals to make me scream. And was laughing. Well, I was laughing too, but--oh, bother.

Cheetos

Fast-forward a year and the Impaler and I are with Mr. S., whom I despise so. We were getting our instruments form our lockers and out of nowhere, our friend Hannah screams, "CHEETOS!" which surprised me and caused me to fall and scream like a little girl. Oh, the laughs.

The Rogue Volleyball

The Impaler, Auntie Wilma, and I were in gym class with Mrs. P. and we were setting the ball to each other, when the Impaler jams her thumb. Being the kind and caring friends we are we rushed over to her side to see if she was ok. Then, this rogue volleyball comes and hits me on the head and I burst into maniacal laughter and can't stop, even after Mrs. P blows her whistle. From then on, I was hit on the head God knows how many times.

Science

Rewind a year. I'm in Science class studying electricity and magnetism. FUN! My teacher was showing us how just coming near one of those outlets that are in the wall, prob'ly couldn't hurt you. So he walks over to the outlet and comes within less than an inch of it and screams. I jumped out my seat 'cuz he scared me. I was thinkin, Holy crap! And then everyone starts laughing, including me. It was fun.

So, those are the ones I remember most. There are others, but I just don't remember the deets.

Cheese Face out.

Tour (Post 7)

So today, the strings and jazz band of my school went on tour to the littler "feeder" schools. It was EPIC. We blew the classical music out their butts! First we went to my old elementary school, Robot Elementary. Now, that's not the real name, but you gotta love Internet privacy. Also, anyone who has been at least enrolled for 4 years with that robot of a principal, is most likely brainwashed and/or turned into a robot. Luckily she took over when I was in 4th grade. So I am good.

After that we went to lunch at this REALLY good Italian buffet, (again Internet privacy. OK it was Valentino's but I will never reveal the exact location no matter how much you beg, plead, or whine, or grovel.) Mr. S told everyone to not eat to the point of showing your affection for regurgitation, but I've that like 10 kids did that. Oh, sucks to be them. But I ended up eating a little more sugar than I needed and started quoting The School of Rock and was like, "But if we fall, we will fall with dignity. With a stand in our hands and awesome in our hearts. And in the words of AC/DC, 'We roll tonight. To the guitar bite. And for those about to rock, I salute you.'"

Then we went to another school which I like to call The Maze, because it has been renovated so many times you can never remember where stuff is, unless, that is, you are Kayla. Or a student. But we got there an hour EARLY so we basically sat around and warmed up.

But then we got back to school, and I had to go to P.E., and we are doing indoor soccer, which I hate, so yeah.

Cheese Face out