C2E2 Pt 2

C2E2 is 10 days away according to the official counter at c2e2.com. And I am going because there is an opportunity to stalk -er, I mean meet John Barrowman, Chris Hardwick, and various people from The Walking Dead among other awesome individuals. I get to go on a train. I've ever been on the Amtrak before so this is going to be exciting. Cheese Face out.

Les Miserables is Making Me *le Miserable

In English, we are reading Les Miserables. And we're aren't watching the musical either. Not that I've seen the musical, it's just that it'd be easier to follow than the book. THE BOOK THAT CUTS LIKE A GIANT BUNCH OUT OF FANTINE!

As you can see, I am *le miserable. I don't like the book because it's confusing and boring and it's ugh.

And on a somewhat related note, I am *le miserable because I found out today that the stitches on my right index finger didn't heal together, so now I may need plastic surgery.

Cheese Face out.

A Rather Exciting Way to End a Rather Boring Sunday

Hello, people of the internet. I, Cheese Face, am here to bring you comedy from a not-so comedic travesty.

On Sunday, it was rather quiet. I was upstairs watching TV, hanging up paintings, and working on homework. After that I decided to come downstairs and play on the computer. I logged into Tumblr and found a post that made me giggle. It was about Colonel Sanders and how his tie makes it look like he has a big head and a small body. I called my brother into the kitchen to see and he said the grammar was wrong(for it said "Big head, small body. You can never unsee it"). I said no it was correct, blah, blah, blah. He was sharpening his pocketknife. The next thing I remember is he hit me, I hit him back and try to go back to the computer, but my brother hits me again harder and all I can remember is seeing blood and screaming.

Then I'm at the hospital, crying hysterically and clutching my hand in some paper towels from my house. Then I'm led into a room and I'm waiting for the PA dude to some stitch me up. My mom and I then start cracking Sherlock and Doctor Who jokes to pass the time and to get me to calm down. Then the PA dude comes in and says he has to numb my fingers with stuff and he needs to give me a few shots. I'm like, "Oh, no, not needles. I freaking hate needles." He gives me the shots and I scream. Loud. So loud my dad said he could hear me from the waiting room.

About 10-15 more minutes of Wholock (Sherlock and Doctor Who) jokes later, they stitch me up. And then I have to wait about 10 more minutes for them to clean me up and bandage me.

I now have 4 or 5 stiches in my index finder, 2-3 stitches on my middle finger, and a small cut on the back of my index finger.

And I can barely write, let alone type. Typing John Watson style, one letter at a time.

Cheese Face out.

FFFFFFUUUUUUUUU--

It's snowing. Oh, god. No, I wanted the opposite of this.

Yes, I know it's December, and it usually snows in December. But we were having such a good year, here in Cheesecakia, without Mr. Snow.

I like snow sometimes. It gets me out of school, it's a reminder to write Christmas lists, and my city looks pretty with everyone's Christmas lights up in the snow. But snow is also a major troll. Now I have to deal with herp-derps in front of us on the way to school. And it's cold. But mostly herp-derps.

'Tis the season to be trolling
Troll-lol-lol-lol-lol-lol-lol-lol-lol

Cheese Face out.

Congress is Trying to Censor the Internet.

Yes, sadly Americans, it's true. They say it's for "stopping internet piracy".  Well, piracy's been going on for a very long time, I don't think it's going to stop, online or otherwise. I just heard about it when I logged onto Firefox and it had a big black box that said "Censored". This was obviously for raising awareness (for now). You can read more at this site.

I clicked on the box and it took me to a site(not the site linked above) and I read a little more. Then I logged onto Tumblr.com and when it took me to my dash all of the posts had black boxes as a "preview" of what could happen if the bill was passed.

I say it's a load of junk. Congress, if you're listening, you have a public out there waiting to bite your freaking heads off! Why don't you try to pass Obama's Jobs Act proposal and get this country going! I have my Senators and Representatives emails, (thanks to Civics!) and You should be worried. Oh, so worried.

Here's a post I found on Tumblr:
"Now the question for the hour is 'Who's got the Internet?' Answer, we do. Next question, 'Who's coming to take it from us?' Come on, look at us! No powers, no legislation, no fortunes worth a damn, but we've got something else: we've all got tumblrs we don't want to lose! So, if you're sitting up there in your silly little Congress with all your silly little bills, and you've got any plans on taking the Internet tonight, just remember who's standing in your way! Remember every black day we ever lampooned you with hilarious memes, and then, and then, do the smart thing!... Let somebody else try first." (source brookerface.tumblr.com)
Yes, that's the Doctor's Pandorica Speech, modified for this purpose.

I personally don't think this bill will get anywhere, and if it does, then Supreme Court will say it's unconstitutional because of free speech. But it this does get passed... let's leave that to their imaginations.

Cheese Face out.

Sick-tionary

Hey! I'm sick. With what? I don't know, but I don't have a fever and my throat hurts a bit so I stayed home from school yesterday and today. I always know when I'm sick, aside from feeling like death, if:

• I don't want to go to school. I am a nerd, without school I die.
• I just want to sleep.
• I can't talk. I'll start stuttering. And stuff
• I start hearing things.

 Since the first two are too boring to ramble on about, I will ramble about the latter two.
When I'm sick I can't talk very well. Notable example today was I was reading Emma's Washington post and I was trying to read the caption aloud to my mom sitting at the table: "...Dalek Sect-- Set--SEC! Dalek SEC!"  or I'll be like " I c- I c- I can't talk!" See, right now, I can't even type without hitting the space bar.

and then I start to hear things. Like on Monday, I thought I heard Mr. S say we could leave, but he didn't so I got in minor trouble for that. I had two possible explanations for that: 1. I was high. Not very likely and very illegal. 2. I'm sick. Very likely and less illegal.

Sickness Sucks. SUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPEEEEEEEEEEEERRRRRRRRRRRR SSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUULLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLLKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!

Cheese Face out.

Revenge is Sweet

So there's this student teacher for Vase. We'll call him, Mr Krueger because he's either mean, or pyscotic or a mixture of both. But one thing everybody knows for sure is that he has to go. For real.

Lemme rewind. On Tuesday one of the girls in my class was talking to this boy who sits next to her about how she touched a bat because it was stuck in her pool. Mr Krueger caught them and said, "You two can flirt later." Not bad, that's something even Vase would say. But as the girl tried to explain Mr Krueger told her that you could get rabies from touching a bat, which we all should know is true. You're probably saying that Mr Krueger is just being a good Samaritan, right? Well, let me continue before you go judging. So, two days later (aka today, if you lost track) Mr Krueger is still calling the girl "Rabid" and "Rabies" AND telling the class not to talk to her. And no, he's not joking.

I've also heard in my social studies class that he's a bit of a perv, and called a student smart"butt" (hey, gotta keep it family friendly) multiple times. He also calls one student in my class Special Ed, when he's not. Well, Vase sometimes calls him that, but it's a special kind of funny when she does. Not like when Mr Krueger does it. He says it mean. Mr Krueger also onced asked a somewhat short girl what the average height of a midget is. Now does he seem like a good guy?

But as the saying goes, revenge is a dish best served cold. In social studies today, we passed around a piece of notebook paper and used it to write every mean or rude thing he's ever done to us. We are gonna turn it in either to the principal or the counselor. Either one works. Also the girl in my class who is called "Rabies" by Mr Krueger is going to record him saying every mean thing so we have actual proof that he is a psychopathic axe murder in his spare time.  Mr Krueger has got to go.

Cheese Face out.

Oh, and the Cheeseys are April 26. Vote now!

Things That Shoud Never Happen. Like EVER.

This is David Tennant. He plays the Tenth Doctor on Doctor Who. Squee.

This is David Tennant when he turned to the dark side*. The side with Daleks and Cybermen. Or stuff. Non-squee. NO! IT SHOULD NOT EVER HAPPEN. My first reaction was "what?" and then it turned to "Maybe the Daleks saw this picture and that's why they want to EXTERMINATE! him." And finally, "This is too serious for numbers" How could he do this to me?! In all the Who episodes he's in I just wanna go up to him and give him a big hug. He's THAT loveable. But when he does THIS?! This is unspeakable. Now he's left me confused. Tsk, tsk, Tennant.

My sisters, who are also Who fans, their reactions were much different than mine. Mini Cheeseface looked at the picture, went into denial, and then Gibbs' smacked me upside the head. Well. Then the little one was like, "I hate this!" and ran off.

I might write an angry email. But that's kinda stalkerish and creepy. No, I will save my anger. Because this must end. Right here. On this site.

EXTERMINATE!!!! EXTERMINATE!!!!! EXTERMINATE!!!!!!

Cheese Face out.

*He does not turn to the dark side on Who, thank God. The pic is from another movie he was in. Oh, God, no...

EDIT 24 JANUARY: Yeah, a few months back, I found out this movie is Fright Night the remake. And I still very much want to see it. Opinions change. Hypocrisy not included.

Chatting With the TSA: Installment 2

Remember a few months ago, when I started this? Well I emailed the Transportation Security Agency last weekend. Here's what I said:

Hi there! If you remember correctly, I emailed you guys about this matter several months ago, but I was kind of unsatisfied with your response. Specifically, I was wondering why liquids must be in a 3.4 ounce container. And what would it take to have the limit upped to, I dunno, 8 ounces. If that won't work I understand. If you would please reply posthaste, as I intend to post your response on my blog, http://thecheeseface.blogspot.com to answer any questions for readers wondering about these things. Also, I kinda promised readers that I'd email you again and post your response as a segment I call, "Chatting With the TSA".




Sincerely,
The Outside-the-Box Thinker; blogger

And here's what they said:

Thank you for your e-mail regarding traveling with liquids, gels, and aerosols in your carry-on baggage.


In response to the threat to aviation posed by liquid explosives, TSA has a policy affecting the liquids, gels, and aerosols that passengers can bring through security checkpoints.

The policy allows that:

. Travelers may carry through security checkpoints travel-size toiletries, in containers 3.4 ounces or smaller. All of these must fit comfortably in and be placed in ONE, QUART-SIZE, clear plastic, zip-top bag.

. After clearing security, travelers can now bring onboard aircraft the beverages and other items they purchase in the secured boarding area beyond the security checkpoint.

At the checkpoint, each traveler is asked to remove his or her zip-top bag of liquids, gels, and aerosols and place it on the conveyor belt. X-raying the items separately allows TSA security officers to more easily examine the declared items.

Containers larger than 3.4 ounces of prescription liquid medications, baby formula, breast milk, and diabetic glucose treatments are allowed through security checkpoints. These must be declared at the checkpoint for additional screening. If the passenger fails to make this declaration, he or she is unlikely to be allowed to bring the item through the checkpoint, barring extenuating circumstances. Passengers should only carry-on medications that they need to have available during their itinerary. Passengers are permitted to carry non-prescription liquid or gel medications, such as saline solution or KY-Jelly, required for medical necessity. Frozen items are also allowed so long as they are solid and in a "frozen state" when presented for screening. If frozen items are partially melted or have any liquid at the bottom of the container, the ice/liquid container must meet 3-1-1 requirements.

This security regime applies to all domestic and international flights departing U.S. airports. Travelers should, however, check with transportation security authorities in their country-of-origin for information about security regimes at non-U.S. airports.

Travel tips to make TSA screening hassle-free:

 De-clutter your carry-on bag. This lets our Transportation Security Officers get a clear, uncomplicated X-ray image of your carry-on.

 When possible, keep packing liquids in checked baggage. You will get through security faster.

 Limit quantities to what is needed for the duration of the flight.

 Items purchased in the secure boarding are for use on the immediate flight. If you must leave the secure boarding area and re-enter through the screening checkpoint, items exceeding 3.4 ounces that are not in the zip-top bag will again be prohibited.

TSA's policy on liquids, aerosols and gels originates from the August 10, 2006, arrests in the United Kingdom of extremists who plotted to use liquid explosives to destroy multiple passenger aircraft flying from the United Kingdom to the United States. Since then, experts from around the government, including the FBI and our national labs, conducted extensive explosives testing to get a better understanding of this specific threat. Our policy is intended to enhance security and balance human needs based on our understanding of the threat and security risks associated with liquids, aerosols, and gels.

TSA encourages you to visit our website at www.tsa.gov for additional information about TSA. We continue to add new information and encourage you to check the website frequently for updated information.

We hope this information is helpful.

TSA Contact Center

Now if they could put that in Layman's terms.

Cheese Face out.

My Mouth Hurts...

Tip of the day: Never ever ever eat 9 Air Heads after habitually biting your bottom lip. It burns. A lot. Please don't ask me how I know this. Please, PLEASE, DON'T ASK ME HOW I KNOW THIS.

That is all.

Cheese Face out.

Side Effects Include Nausea, Heartburn, Indegestion, Upset Stomach, and Diarrhea

Have you ever noticed the sheer amount of lawsuits over medicines that are supposed to help you but instead, I dunno, KILL YOU? If FDA stands for Food and Drug Administration, then my friend they are lacking in the drug part. I just saw a commercial that said, "Call this number if you or a loved one has taken this medicine and has been diagnosed with these diseases or have had death." OK, first, you can't call if you are DEAD, so that statement is kinda redundant. But you can call if a loved one has died. So....not so redundant. Heh.

I've seen 15 different commercials like these and it makes me wonder why the FDA isn't doing anything to make sure people don't unexpectedly die from medicines that are supposed to help them. What are they doing up there, anyways? Playing online Poker and having tea with their FDA pals?

At one time there was this acne medication whose side effects were dry skin; feeling of warmth; irritation; itching; peeling; redness; scaling; temporary burning and stinging. I want clear skin, but I am not risking the medicine to peel my skin off. What kind of side effects are those? What happened to headaches, nausea, vomiting, and dizziness upon standing in simple medicines? GOD!

Making medicine requires using chemistry, right? Because this is an epic fail if 15 different law offices are offering consultation because of medicine. YOU FAIL CHEMISTRY FOREVER FDA!

Cheese Face out.

Holy Crap! It's Christmas!

Yeah, I can't believe it. It's like yesterday it was Thanksgiving, it can't be Christmas. I love Christmas, but I hate it too.

For one, I hate Christmas carols. They're so annoying.  Once you've heard seven versions of "Rudolf the Red-Nosed Reindeer", with one featuring an accordion (sadly, it wasn't John Linnell, lead singer of They Might Be Giants), you start to hate all Christmas songs.

Also, December 25 may not even be the day of Jesus' birth, according to historians.  For one, if it were December, there's no way that baby could have survived in the cold. And two, historians believe he was born April 25, because of the weather that was occurring around the time of his birth. Heck, they're even calling it 'Mithras'.

December came way too fast. I'm not use to it being THIS fast. It's not even snowing, something unusual for my part of the US of A.

Cheese Face out.

Santa Promotes Slavery

Do I believe this? Yeah, maybe a little. It this true? Yeah, probably. Did I come up with this theory? No, my mom and brother did. So, Santa promotes slavery. Yeah...

Has anyone not figured this out yet? How much do the elves get paid? My guess, probably not enough. Look at all the things they do for this Mr. Santa Claus-Man: They build the toys, clean up after the reindeer, get attacked by little kids in the mall, do his laundering, the whole she-bang. And what do they get in return? One day off and some cookies and milk. Mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, mmm, Santa, I thought I knew you better. They probably work 8-12 hour days everyday and kick it into hyperdrive in December. So maybe bump it up to 16 hours. Then 10 days before Christmas Eve they work all night, because, c'mon, there's 6,887,000,000(and counting!) people in the world and toys need finishing.

And does Mrs. Claus know about this? Because if she does, why hasn't she stopped Santa-Man? And if she doesn't, why is she just baking cookies all day? Is that all she does is bake cookies? Does Santa eat real food like steak, clam chowder, pizza and the likes, or does he live on cookies? Or because he's magic, does he not eat at all? These questions need answers people!!

Now some readers might think that I hate Christmas because of yesterday's post and after reading this one. But I don't. Christmas is one of my favorite holidays, and no, not because I get fancy stuff. I like it because everyone puts their lights up and makes the city all pretty, especially downtown. In fact, I applaud the hard-working elves and adults(well, not all presents are from Santa) that make Christmas happen. But Santa promoting slavery, I mean really. What did you think goes on up north?

Begone with you now.

Cheese Face out.

Santa's Helper=Worst Job in the World

A thought just occurred to me: Being a mall Santa has got to be one of the worst jobs ever. Just think about it. You get to sit there for 5-7 hours listening to little kids tell you their every want. If I had to do that, I think I'd get so annoyed that somebody just might explode, and by somebody, I mean probably me.

Not to mention, your face is probably paralyzed from smiling for pictures, so your stuck with a grin on your face. Just think what might happen if a little kid tells you their goldfish died and they want a new one. Sad kid+Perma-grinning Santa=awkward situation. And that's putting it bluntly.

Another thing you'd have to deal with is the bratty kid who wants everything in the known universe. And I mean everything-- iPad, a planet, their very own ball of flaming hydrogen, aka a star, the whole she-bang.

And then there's the kid who attacks the elves. *shudder, shudder*. Or the kid who ate too much and decides to "redecorate" your suit.Yeah, isn't that pleasant.

But I guess there's a good side to being a Santa helper. I mean little kids everywhere adore you. And one time at the mall when I went to get my nails done, Santa came in for a "men's manicure". Yes, you can laugh. One of the employees were like, "Are you really Santa?" and he's like, "I dunno. That's what my license says," and shows her his drivers' license. That is what I call a Pwn.

But still, it's a bad job. At least in my opinion.

Cheese Face out.

Testing 1... 2... 3...

Howdy-do! Today was the 6 day of testing at my school. The Iowa Test of Basic Skills. I live in Cheesecakia. Why do I need to take a test from Boring-as-Heck Iowa? The good news is no homework! The bad news is, afterwards I'm bored. So... to compensate the boredom I draw posters with witty sayings like, Shoosh yeah, True chiz, Earth: It's a planet, and Fail and Pwnd.

I plan on making copies of these posters and selling them for 75 cents each. Childrens love witty catchphrases.

Cheese Face out.

Copyright 2010

I was randomly Googling this fine blog yesterday, out of sheer boredom, and I came across this website called Protect Our Kids. They stole my Silly Band thing. So I sent them an e-mail saying they should cite their source and I haven't heard back. Granted it's only been a day, but 99% of the people I know get back to me within a day, maybe 36 hours. I am so prepared to fight!

Stupid copyright infringers.

Cheese Face out.

"Even Prisoners Can Eat Cookies!"

That was a quote from today. I was late to Vase's class again because of my siblings. And so she and the VP sent me to lunch detention. Horrible, that place is.

For lunch detention, you either go to the band hallway or the Quiet Room. The band hallway, I'm pretty sure, is a place where you and the other delinquents can share why you got lunch detention, but the Quiet Room is aptly named. The rules are this:

1. No talking
2. Work independently
3. No gum, food or candy (except food for lunch detention, only no snacks, unless you have cold lunch)
4. Stay in your seat
5. No sleeping

Gosh dang it to heck, they treat us worse than prisoners. I'm serious, prisoners can eat cookies and chew gum and can talk to their prison friends and sleep. What the chiz?!

And I tried to see what time it was and to do that I had to turn around to the back of the room and the teacher yelled at me. WTC?!

So that was my day.

On the plus side, I got super awesome Converse shoes/boots and I went all out Goth and sweetness. Only the jerks asked me if my choker was a dog collar and so I said, "No, it's a choker, smart one." I should have said, "No, it's a wall of psychic energy keeping me from killing the world," but the school is teaching suicide prevention and I don't want to deal with the crap that comes from being smarter than the prissies.

The Silly Band War

My school has started banning those ridiculous Silly Bands! Yea and nay! On the yea side, we don't have to spend 30 minutes trying to figure out what one of the shapes is. On the nay side, almost EVERYONE wears Silly Bands. So tough kumquats, Administration. Here's what the bulletin said:

"Due to the shooting of rubber bands and silly bands and other student misuse of these items, rubber bands and silly bands are no longer allowed at school. These items will be taken from students if they are brought to school. Students caught in possession of silly bands and/or rubber bands at school will be subject to discipline from the administration."

Yeah, well they didn't count on one thing: OPERATION: STICK IT TO THE MAN! Oh, SHOOSH YEAH! My sister got a whole bunch of Silly Bands and so I am hoping to get everyone still wearing them because there's no way the school can detain EVERYONE. Well, there was the epic lunch detention with Sharpie last year, but that was like 30 kids. I'm talking about 400 kids. Yeah. And if by a miracle of Tim Burton himself everyone can not shoot those stupid things, we can go back looking like idiots when we figure out that it is a butterfly after 30 minutes of straining our brain. OR we could find creative ways to wear them without getting in trouble. Like one day, my hair thingy fell out and one of my friends gave me one of her Silly Bands to keep my hair from going POOF. Yeah, chiz like that.

I bet I know who did this. Mr. E. Cuz he hates anything fun or interesting. And cuz ONE STUDENT was throwing one around the gym. "One is one too many." I don't know who came up with that saying but according to math 1=1. Not 1<1>1. 1=1. Also, a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush. That's what I gots to say about that stupid embargo on Silly Bands.

Cheese Face out.

I'm so bored... so bored... SOOOO BOORED

I am doing absolutely... nothing. I'm tired, bored, and the only relatively entertaining thing on is Adventure Time. But I've seen all of the aired episodes. I know what will make this better! AN UNOFFICIALLY OFFICIALLY OFFICIAL RANDOM QUESTIONS! oh, never mind. Too much work... and thinking... and, uh, effort. So there goes that.

How about those men who might be giants? And Jupiter is Jupiter-ing. OK, this is crap. What we need is a FRIENDLY MUSHROOM! Looks like Sokka's on the cactus juice again.

And now a medley of your favorite public domain songs:

SWING LOW SWEET CHARIOT, COMIN' TO CARRY ME HOME- a-JIMMY CRACK CORN AND I DON'T CARE! a-JIMMY CRACK CORN AND I DON'T CARE! a-JIMMY CRACK CORN AND I DON'T CCCCAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRREE... *i'm so bored*

Cheese Face out.

*sniff* *sigh* Pollen

I hate the pollen
I think it totally sucks.
Pollen makes me sneeze...

A haiku of my hatred of my allergies. I hate them. Today, I had a sneeze attack that lasted, like, 15 minutes. 15 MINUTES OF SNEEZING MY BRAINS OUT! Who came up with pollen, anyways? WAS IT YOU, JIMMY?! OR YOU, GEORGE?! OR WAS IT... THE RED SQUIRREL?!?! or was it someone more sinister, like Mrs. Vase or Mr. S. or Mother Nature. CURSE YOU EARTH! I mean, I recycle, and use Eco-friendly pesticides on my lawn and I'm all for those gigantic wind farms that are poppin' up in Cheesecakia! WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!? Did I accidentally throw away paper instead of putting it in the recycling receptacle? Did I diss corn? Did I take revenge on Wal-Mart? I don't know, man, just help me out.

Cheese Face *sniff sniff* out.